Ephesians 6:1-9

Admonitions for Children (6:1-3)

The implications of Christ’s lordship are now discussed from the perspective of family relationships, specifically those between children and parents. Here, Paul lays out the two primary God-given responsibilities of children (cf. Col. 3:20).

First, children are to “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (v. 1). The word translated “obey” literally means to “hear under,” and thus, to listen to or follow closely. The present tense of this verb revels that obedience is to be continually displayed in all circumstances and at all times (cf. Prov. 6:20ff; 23:22). It is also stated in the form of an imperative or command and is, therefore, God’s certain and clear will for all children (cf. Exodus 20:12; Deut. 5:16). The qualifying phrase “in the Lord” makes it quite apparent that every child is to obey its parents as he or she would Christ Himself. That this is “right” strengthens the admonition by stressing its propriety in the divine plan for the family. This phrase also addresses a key question one might legitimately raise: Are children obligated to obey their parents in absolutely everything without any exception? The answer must be “No.” Children are to obey their parents “in everything which is compatible with their primary loyalty, namely to their Lord Jesus Christ [italics added]” (Stott, 242).

Secondly, the child should understand the connection between obedience and respect. Paul quotes from the Decalogue in calling children to “Honor your father and your mother” (v.2). The verb “honor” originally indicated the act of setting a price on something or ascribing value to an object deemed worthy. The command, then, is that the children should respect, cherish, and deem their parents worthy of loyal and loving obedience before God. The “promise” to which Paul refers is contained in the Decalogue’s rendition of this command—“so that you may live long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12). Note that Paul does not quote the promise verbatim, but rather makes it more appropriate and understandable for his Gentile readers by inserting the words “enjoy long life on the earth” (v.3). This promise has to do with the fullness and harmony of life that is associated with keeping the commandments of the Lord. While these words are not to be interpreted in a universal sense—that every obedient child without exception will live a long and prosperous life—they do promise the blessedness one truly enjoys who follows the will of God in this area of life.

Admonitions for Parents (6:4)

Now Paul turns his attention to the parents and, more directly to the “fathers.” While the head of the family is specifically addressed here, the wider application certainly includes the mother as well. The profound and radical nature of Paul’s words are better understood against the background of the “callous cruelty which prevailed in the Roman Empire” (Stott, 238). Stott continues by observing that

unwanted babies were abandoned, weak and deformed ones killed, and even healthy children were regarded by many as a partial nuisance because they inhibited sexual promiscuity and complicated easy divorce (238).

As observed above, we may discern two principle responsibilities of the parents.

First, parents are commanded to discipline their children in a godly fashion. This is initially stated negatively by the apostle—“do not exasperate your children.” That is, the child is not to be provoked or brought to a point of deep-seated anger and resentment by overly harsh or insensitive discipline. In other words, the parents must not exercise their authority in a capricious manner, especially by means of setting forth unnecessary and unreasonable rules and regulations. Such actions, according to F. F. Bruce, would be “more calculated to provoke resentment than ready obedience” (398). Positively, the parent is called to approach discipline as informed and regulated by the Gospel itself—with grace, understanding, patience, and appropriate firmness that will foster the spiritual development of the child and will result in the glory of God.

Secondly, children are to be raised by their parents “in the training and instructions of the Lord.” The word “training” carries with it the idea of discipline, the kind that produces strength and consistency of Christian character. “Instructions” connotes both the transmission of facts and the impartation of understanding as well as the giving of warnings and admonitions. Cleary, this involves the task of faithfully teaching children the will of God as found in His Word.

As noted above, this depiction of parental responsibilities stood in radical opposition to the prevailing sentiment of the day that regarded the father as having absolute control over his home and children. The Roman father exercised the right to sell his children as slaves, abuse them, and even to execute them at will (see Stott, 245). Yet, the apostle teaches here that Christian parents will lovingly and patiently guide, teach, encourage, warn, and discipline their children as governed by Holy Scripture and their loyalty to Christ.

Admonitions for Slaves (6:5-8)

In this section, Paul turns to address those who are “slaves.” His treatment of this segment of Roman society makes it apparent that such slaves were part of the Christian community. Some have estimated that the number of slaves in the Roman Empire during the time of Paul exceeded fifty million. This being the case, the relevance for specific commands touching the slave-master relationship becomes obvious. As for slaves, Paul enjoins them to “obey your earthly masters” (v. 5). In the verses that follow he deals with both the how and the why of their obedience.

How are slaves to obey their masters? The answer is “with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart” (v.5). In other words, slaves are to obey their earthly masters in the same way that they would “obey Christ” Himself. They are to consider themselves ultimately the “slaves of Christ” and, therefore, must view their obedience to their master as an act of service and worship to their Lord and Savior. Note that Paul indicates that by faithfully doing what their master desires them to do they are, in reality, “doing the will of God from the heart.” To make it unmistakably plain he commands all slaves to “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men” (v. 7).

Why are slaves to obey their masters? The answer is that “the Lord will reward everyone for whatever he does, whether he is slave or free” (v. 8). Again, it is ultimately the Lord Himself whom the slave actually serves. He is the one who will reward those who are faithful to the divine command.

Admonitions for Masters (6:9)

Finally, Paul addresses those who are slave owners or “masters.” Basically, they are commanded to “treat your slaves in the same way.” This implies that in the very manner slaves are to serve their own masters (vv. 5-9), the slave owners are to discharge their duties to the Lord “wholeheartedly” (v. 7) with the understanding that they too will give an account to God for their actions (v.8). In other words, “they should make it easy for their slaves to work for them with goodwill. Threatening with punishment, or harsh language and behavior in general, may ensure outward obedience, but hardly that obedience which comes ‘from the heart’” (Bruce, 401). Note that Paul specifically mentions that the slaves should not be threatened with mistreatment or other such sanctions. Masters should realize that there is ultimately only one real “Master” who is “in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.” Once again we see that the Gospel must be applied to the slave-master relationship.